Rccg YAYA Student

RCCG YAYA Sunday School Students Manual 3 March 2024 Lesson 27 – Before You Say ‘I Do’

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TOPIC: Before You Say ‘I Do’ (RCCG Sunday School Manual For Young Adults And Youths (YAYA)

MEMORY VERSE: “Let all things be done decently and in order.” – 1 Corinthians 14:40

BIBLE PASSAGE: Genesis 29:11-20 (KJV) (Scroll down for RCCG Sunday School 3 March 2024 HYMN)‬

11 And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.

12 And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father’s brother, and that he was Rebekah’s son: and she ran and told her father.

13 And it came to pass, when Laban heard the tidings of Jacob his sister’s son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. And he told Laban all these things.

14 And Laban said to him, Surely thou art my bone and my flesh. And he abode with him the space of a month.

15 And Laban said unto Jacob, Because thou art my brother, shouldest thou therefore serve me for nought? tell me, what shall thy wages be?

16 And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.

17 Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured.

18 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.

19 And Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.

20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.

Also Read:

– RCCG Sunday School Teacher Manual 3 March 2024: Kingdom Influencers

– RCCG YAYA Sunday School Teacher Manual 3 March 2024 – Before You Say ‘I Do’

– Open Heaven 3 March 2024 – Your Right-Hand Man 2

INTRODUCTION: The foundation of a godly marriage must be properly laid on sound moral and biblical principles. Before the exchange of vows, where the Christian fiancé and fiancée will say ‘I do,’ they should have passed through the phase of courtship and ensure that all things are done decently and in order (1 Corinthians 14:40; Amos 3:3). The intending couple should also watch out for some ‘red flags’ before saying ‘I do.’

LESSON OUTLINES:

DESCRIPTION AND PURPOSE OF COURTSHIP

RED FLAGS TO WATCH OUT FOR

1. DESCRIPTION AND PURPOSE OF COURTSHIP

Christian courtship is that period before marriage when an intending couple – a Christian brother and sister – make plans, relate and find the middle ground on so many issues pertaining to their future together. Courtship is important and necessary for the intending couple as they use this period to lay a proper biblical foundation in order to have a fulfilled married life (1 Thessalonians 5:21). One vital issue that must be addressed during this period is obtaining the consent of both parents (Genesis 24:54-59). Courtship is also a period to intentionally get to know each other better and not a time to engage in any form of sexual immorality. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20; Romans 12:1-2).

Intending couples should pray, study the Bible, attend Christian programmes, etc. together but avoid hanging out in secluded or dark places (2 Corinthians 2:11; 1 Thessalonians 5:22). Discussions should cover their dreams, visions, purpose for living, plans, fears, health status/history and past relationships (if any). They should endeavour to discover each other’s strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, differences (upbringing/orientation, cultural background), etc. through observation and by asking questions. Intending couples should be open and sincere with each other in all aspects of their dealings (financial status, source of income, etc.). There should be no pretence (stage-managed character). It is also expedient to undertake marriage counselling lessons together during courtship (Proverbs 11:14).

The students should discuss other important activities that are expected in Christian courtship.

2. RED FLAGS TO WATCH OUT FOR

There are a number of “red flags” to watch out for before entering a permanent marriage relationship. Intending couples should fervently pray for God to reveal anything that is covered by either of the engaged partners. However, some things to look out for include irrational jealousy (Proverbs 6:34; 27:4), deception (Proverbs 24:28), the struggle to always be in control or dominate the other partner (Philippians 2:3), physical or emotional abuse/violence (Isaiah 59:6), a quick temper (Proverbs 22:24-25), adherence to unscriptural traditional values (Colossians 2:8), attempts to isolate the other person from his or her friends and family (Proverbs 18:24), a show of dislike for would-be in-laws (Matthew 19:19), defiance to spiritual matters (2 Timothy 3:5), drug or alcohol abuse, smoking, disrespect for boundaries, privacy/personal space or low moral values.

If you see any of these warning signs or other strange behaviours in a person you are entering a marriage relationship with, please pray and seek advice from your spiritual leader or marriage counsellor before you say ‘I DO’ (Mark 14:38; Proverbs 15:22; 19:20). Marriage should not be entered into “at all cost.” You have your destiny to fulfil (Jeremiah 29:11). You may consider the saying that ‘a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage’ and make a wise/informed decision (Ecclesiastes 10:10; 1 Corinthians 7:15b).

CLASS ACTIVITY 2: The class should identify other red flags not mentioned above.

CONCLUSION: Watch and pray before you say “I DO.”

QUESTIONS:

Discuss the importance of courtship.

Mention some of the red flags to watch out for before you say ‘I do.’

FURTHER READING:

Monday: Ezekiel 36:26-27 (KJV)

26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.

Tuesday: Ecclesiastes 3:1-7 (KJV)

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

Wednesday: Ephesians 3:16-20 (KJV)

16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; 17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. 20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

Thursday: Matthew 5:13 (KJV)

Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

Friday: 2 Corinthians 6:17 (KJV)

Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.

Saturday: 1 Timothy 6:6 (KJV)

But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Sunday: 2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV)

Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

ASSIGNMENT: Write five (5) things intending couples should avoid during courtship (2×5=10 marks).